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I have got to stop scratching that wound....

Some people understand.....

Well, who put that there?

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I just recalled.... this home has one heck of a hot tub.
This evening, I think I shall soak while I read a good book
and sip some wine.

Yup.... that sounds like a plan.

It really does go full circle, doesn't it?

Years ago I had a buddy. A guy I worked with, and spent a lot of time doing friend like things with. He came to my house a lot, his kids played with my kids, we all went out together... it was good times.

He used to go places with my wife, and I'd be doing something else or maybe watching all the youngens. They'd run out to the grocery store, to get beer, whatever. Friends would joke that he was dating my wife, and I'd always respond "He's welcome to her, but he gets the kids, the house, and all the bills with her!" My buddy joked that if I said that one more time he'd never come back to my house.

Well, this morning I saw it come full circle. In traffic, going the other way, I saw my own truck. I know it was mine as the rear window protection rack is one I designed and welded myself. There isn't another like it in the world. In the passenger seat was my STBEW. Driving it, her boyfriend (no one I know), and going the direction they were, it's likely they were headed to her mothers house (Her Dragonness herself)

It flashed into my head... this guy got her, the kids, the truck, and all the bills...... and I was headed to the range in peace all by myself.

I got the better of that deal.

Saturday morning eye popper

Hot coffee, and very hot BB King...... wakey wakety!

Amber is such cool stuff......

A friend requested amber ear rings for her birthday. Here's what happened as I was working on ideas.....

Friday bits and pieces......

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*School begins for real on Monday. I get my kids (!). I'm finally feeling the anxious anxiety.

*Relationships... dating.... things like that..... are complicated. The dog is not so complicated. He just trots in, checks out whatever I'm having for dinner, and sticks around if he wants some. It's a simple relationship that I can understand and deal with. I wish dealing with people was that easy.

*School..... at our opening instructor follies, the admin showed a recruiting video one of our graphics programs built last year. There were three instructor interview segments in it.... I think it was three. I was two of them. Bloody AARRGggg! I could have crawled under my chair, I had no idea that was their nefarious plan when they were filming.

* Today and tomorrow are work-at-the-store days. All day, each day. Sunday, my last day of freedom before school begins.... I may spend at the PA RenFaire again. Another free ticket has drifted my way, and someone has asked to come along and make it a photo shoot kind of thing. It might be a fun day...

* I began my latest PSU course last night. Ed-Psych this time, and it looks like a good one. The Prof said up front that it will be low pressure and no papers due, but we will have exams and presentations. I expect to get some useful stuff from this course.... especially with my incoming class to use as examples :-)

* Given this course is relatively low pressure, I will likely sign up for another beginning next month. Yes, that means carrying six credits while teaching a big class at the same time.... but I guess I have the evenings to do it right now. Other things will have to give way, but so be it. No one will complain about my absence.

* I get my kids Monday!

A Thursday evening chuckle.....

H/T to Cowboy Bob....

The tyranny of arrogance....

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I would like to speak of teachers, time, expectations, and arrogance. This is not a rant post, nor a whine post... but a description of the reality.

In going through our school's in-service training the beginning of this school year, we instructors are once again being told about all the great new things we will be doing. New directives, new forms to fill out and file, new style lesson plans to create, new.... stuff. All this is in addition to what we had to do previously, and most often has little to do with our real job of teaching technical trades to young students.

What is sorely lacking is any indication we will be given time to do the new work, create the new plans and file the new forms. If instructors directed students to perform task work for grading without allowing lab time to complete it, we would be punished. If the school does it to us.... it's par for the course.

"Well, use some of your preparation time!"

Uh.... what is this 'preparation time' you speak of?

Allow me to break down the 'prep time' we have. Instructors must be in the saddle by 7:45 each morning, and students begin arriving before 8am. We have students till 2:35 each day, usually longer. Doing prep work while students are with us is not only impossible, but just plain wrong. Our official school day ends at 3:20. This means optimally we will have about 45 minutes a day prep time.

But.... we have mandatory after class meetings. Faculty meetings, center meetings, committee meetings, IEP meetings.... it works out to at least one a week, but usually more. That means we can count on three hours a week of prep time. In those three hours we must:

• Write daily detailed lesson plans to be filed
  
• Prepare Power Point presentations and hand outs
• Contact parents
• Contact potential and current employers
• Grade tests, quiz's, and homework
• Enter daily work ethic, task, and theory grades into the computer system
• Write detailed discipline referrals
• Write weekly objective plans to be filed
• Prepare class demonstrations
• Track and order supplies and tools with a cumbersome process
• Make our next days copies
• Repair tools and equipment
• and a host of other duties.......

Obviously all this adds up to way more than three hours a week. The thing is, we instructors know this and accept it as part of our job. It's part of being a professional.

When does it get done? We come in early, stay late, work weekends, and work over the summer. None of this is contracted time, and none is paid for. We know this, and just deal with it in order to have the career we love.

Where does the tyranny of arrogance come in? Clearly every single additional task we are given comes directly from our own personal time. It must.... as the prep time we officially have is laughably inadequate. The arrogance comes into play when we are given more and more tasks to accomplish... and no time to do them in. No one asks us if we are willing to give up one more evening, or one more Sunday a month. The extra work is just heaped on with the command "Get it done, and 'no time' is never an excuse".

I was asked what I thought of today's introduction to new time sucking demands... and I replied "I think it's interesting, but it seems a silly way to spend the day when the school clearly doesn't expect us to do any of this stuff........". The response "What do you mean?" My reply: "There was no mention of where the time required to do all this work is coming from, and you know our days are already overfilled, so clearly the school does not plan on investing in the time we would need to do the work, and therefor does not plan on us actually doing any of this stuff".

Stone..... cold..... silence.

Nothing just now.........

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I've got nothing of merit, and chose not to head any deeper into 'me' blogging territory. I'll simply wrap my existence around this cup of coffee and work on that whole 'deer in the headlights' look.

Hmmm...

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A glass of chilled sweet honey mead, a plate of sharp cheddar cheese and stone ground wheat crackers, a dab of spicey mustard with wine, and Melody Gardot playing softly.

Yes.... I think this will do.....

I'm BAAaaaaack!

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First day back in school.... and no chilluns till Monday next. This week is devoted to getting ready, doing 'in-service' training, finding out what wonderful things have been done to our arrangements over the summer, and other activities second only to heavy dental work in capturing one's interest.

I wasn't there an hour when I found an administrator walking a tour of new people through the halls (and my program). I attempted to squirm my way past, engaging my cloak of invisibility. Naturally, the cloak failed me just as I was making my break for freedom. A voice called me back for introductions.... and once done I raised my hand over the group and intoned "May God have mercy on your souls......"

Perhaps that wasn't the correct greeting to a group of new folks at school... as now I have an appointment with 'Maam' at 9am on Wednsday.

Oops......

Okay.... all that is true, but she said it was about something good, and how it concerned me being 'the target' in what they are looking for in the building. That might have been meant to be nice... but I have to say.... I am uncomfortable being described as 'the target'.

My partner and I will be ready on time, without stressing too much I think. We work well together, and that helps a lot.

All day today... as I was breaking industrial copiers and piling up a mind numbing stack of work for my incoming angels.... this song was going through my mind. It helped that I had it playing on a large sound system in the background, turned up just enough to discourage conversation in my wing of the building.




I return tomorrow, and every other day this week, for training, restraining, and detaining. It shall be interesting!

Where did the summer go?

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I am back to school today.... and a life changing summer is over.

Already.

Wow.

The ants go marching in... Haraa!

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Take a look at this photo....


Now, take a look at this crop of the well inside the flower. Click on the photo and let it fill your screen. Kewl, eh?

Salad for dinner.....

Sure, there's lettuce in there someplace.
That makes it a salad, right guys?

The images we project

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I've been thinking. A slow and laborious process at the best of times, this instance it was worse. Made harder by the depth of my immersion in the situation, it took me a long time indeed to gnaw away at these concepts.

We each, and by each I mean every single one of us, project an image to the world. It's an image of ourselves... and we all do it to some extent. Sometimes only a minor variation on a theme presented to a select audience, other times a carefully crafted persona built up over years and nursed along like a fine wine.

Have you ever spent a moment choosing your clothes... thinking about who you were going to be with that day? Have you ever mowed your lawn because of what the neighbors might think? I have. I've washed my car before picking up a friend because I didn't want her to think me a slob. I've folded my clothes and put them away neatly, in part because people would be at the house later and someone might see the pile on my bed.

These are minor examples... but it goes deeper. Picture a couple getting ready for a party, getting dressed. She tries on a pretty bit of garb, but he says "Try on the red dress, you look smoking in that". She smiles and puts on the red dress, living in the moment and thinking of the looks she will get that evening.

She's projecting an image of herself... attractive, desirable, and alluring. He knows this, enjoys it, and encourages it. They both enjoy it.... the night out on the town, looking good to their friends, and acting a part for the evening. Later they'll take off the shoes that are a bit too tight, loosen the seldom worn clothes that made them look especially good for the evening, and share in a moment of glowing warmth for the little bit of an act achieved. They'll bask in their own self image, and that's an entirely human thing to do.

We all do it, to some extent. This I believe, and I don't fault it. It's a normal part of being human, even when taken to some extremes. Some people nearly live double lives. Their own private life, and a wildly different one presented to the world. Sometimes the private life is so deeply embedded, it only shows in rare moments when the person is alone..... and in some sad cases it never even shows then.

In thinking about relationships between people, I have come to realize that each can be judged by this image, and the place people have in each others vision of themselves.

Think about it..... aren't the most common reasons for a relationship failure one person saying "They turned out to be someone I didn't know", or "He/She lied to me about everything", or "I really judged him wrong", or even just "I was so fooled by....". Aren't these all just saying the same thing? Simply put.... it turns out that one or both of the people found out they were not invited into the inner self image of the other person. In a cruder way of saying it.... they discovered they were on the outside of the lie, rather than the inside.

Just like we all project an image, to some extent we all lie a little too. Even when it's simply by unintended omission, or more often very intentional omission, we all lie. Building that image we present to the world is often supported in part by tiny little lies. Putting on music in the car that you hope someone hears you listening to... makes it seem that's what you like. Leaving a specific book out where people can see it, just so they think that's your reading preference. The ways are myriad...

Sometimes, the lies are deeper, and I won't delve into them here.

The point is... everyone has an image they project to some degree, and everyone has lies that support that image, to some degree. From the unnoticeable small to some which loom large... they are always there.

We can define our relationships by looking at how close to their center we are, and how close we let the other person to ours. Do we really, really know the heart of the person? Do we allow them to see ours? We all lie, and we all let our loved ones small lies slip past..... as long as we are on the inside of them. As long as.... we are part of the real world involving the two, much else that makes up the external images can be ignored, allowed, and even enjoyed together. It's once we discover that we are not really on the inside, but just buried in yet another layer of images and lies.... that's when the pain and hurt begins.

To heck with it... I'm taking a day off.

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I asked the old guy to mind the store tomorrow by himself.... I'm taking the day off. Not sure what I'll do, as it's to rain like a (bleep), but I'm sure I'll come up with something.

Maybe I'll drive till I run out of rain, and see where I land.

Like the song says..... if the phone doesn't ring, that will be me.

Friday morning thoughts....

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It's another lovely Friday (he said half in sarcasm and half in wonder). The hot water heater malfunctioned last night, but it was an easy fix and we have hot water for morning showers. The coffee maker acted screwy, but there is coffee in the cups. The weather report has words like 'Precipitation' and 'Thunderstorm' and 'Cataclysmic' in it, but right now there are wisps of blue sky in sight. The checking account has bumped a bit in the night, and that is always welcome.... although I'd like to be more welcoming :-)

Friday... and a long day at Mrs. Penn's awaits. Tomorrow as well, more of the same. In the quiet times at the shop I have been making a few pieces, and they are on the web site. That much has been enjoyable, and the customers too. Some really interesting people shop there, even the ones from New York.

Sunday, a day of rest, and my last free day before I morph into Teacher Man on Monday. Sunday.... I think a day at Baltimore's Inner Harbor will suit just fine. New sights and sounds in a wholly new environment. I can wish I had a few more free days, and perhaps take a room there for the night..... but something in me rebels at the thought of taking a hotel room alone for anything but business.

I've been thinking about people, as is my way, and how they maintain public images and private. The projected view carefully built and shown to the world, and the inner vision just as carefully hoarded away from prying eyes. Perhaps the relationship between two people can be defined by how far inside this created vision they allow the other to see.

I'll give it more thought, and maybe lay down said thoughts to words. We shall see.

Ya'll have a good Friday, and I'll be thinking of ya!

Check....

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Serenity playing in HD..... check.
Head phones on..... check.
Chilled glass of really good bourbon..... check.
Outside world butting out for a change..... big check.

AHHhhhhh.......................

Proof I has shmart blog!

Perusing the blog log this morning, I see a hit from Batavia Illinois. Hmm..... that sounds familiar. Yup... Fermi Laboratories, and since it was in the wee hours it must have been a techie. No admin staff puke will be there at OhGod Hundred hours...

At first, I thought... ah Ha! I can has a shmart blog! Then I noticed the time on site was zero seconds. Hmm..... I guess a really smart nuke scientist might figure out a way to read my blog in zero seconds, but the energy usage would likely shut down the eastern side of the country.

Rats.... thought I had something there.

Oh, on another note.... the hard drive in this lap top is making occasional 'screech screech' noises. Uh oh.............

Sigh.....

Sleep came, to a point, and only for certain value of sleep. Dreams, perhaps driven by a late dinner, came in crushing waves almost as I shut my eyes. Past loves, present regrets, and hardened nuggets of self judgment combined to lift me from sleep and deposit me here in this chair, in front of this glowing screen for a time. Maybe Morpheus will come and take me to visit his sweet river as I wait the sunrise.....

'Twas a good day at the shop....

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A long day, but a good day. I really, really enjoy creating jewelry when the results make people happy.

Today, I got hugged on because of my work. Not once, but twice. They were that happy.

Okay... that has a certain coolness to it. (g).

But... right now this man is bushed, and a hot shower is calling it's siren song. Sleep will come easy tonight.

Photos tomorrow of work accomplished. Too tired tonight.

PNC Bank..... Followup items.

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In a previous post I described a situation involving PNC Bank. Since then, a few mildly interesting things have happened concerning the institution and the accounts in question.

It appears that PNC chose not to honor the entries that had been made to the on-line bill paying system before they severed our access to it. We are now getting calls from creditors saying the payments are late..... but only the payments that had been set up through PNC's online system. Isn't that special.......

Of course we are paying those bills at once over the phone, but it all adds up to a colossal pain in the behind. I suppose it's my fault in part, as I did not print out the bills I had set to pay in the future. Whether laziness or a naive trust that PNC would honor the payments while the money was in the account.... either way, silly me.

I did notice that someone from a 'PNC' server accessed this blog, and specifically the post I wrote earlier. Perhaps that had something to do with a phone call yesterday... from Gallup Polling. The Gallup rep was calling PNC customers, specifically the location where we did do business, and asking pointed questions about customer service. I quickly realized that polling methodology did not regard my comments as useful, and they only wanted a one thru five numerical answer. So be it, and that is what I gave them.

It was clearly a push poll, with the poll taker telling how much PNC cared about it's customers, and how they valued my opinion, and how they wanted to serve their clients, and how they were going to plant a flower in my name and bake me fresh cookies and rub my tired feet.... everything but act with integrity and honesty.

Listening to the local public that comes into the store here, I suspect that PNC may not be long for the banking world. The banking waters are full of very hungry sharks just now, and an institution that's built a reputation for lousy service and a lack of integrity will not last long.

We are almost shut of PNC Bank, working our way out of their clutching and greedy grasp. The business and personal accounts have been reopened at another local institution with an excellent reputation, and one that comes highly recommended by the locals. It's amusing.... as we were in the new bank opening accounts, we mentioned we were leaving another local bank as we were unhappy with how they did business. The officer at the new bank told us who we were leaving without us having to name names.... and that was worth a laugh. It speaks volumes, I think.