Thursday, July 16, 2009

I wished I had a camera with me.... is that mean?

I had a support hearing to attend today. The STBE (Soon To Be Ex) took me to court for spousal and child support. It did not turn out like she thought it was going to.....

When I left almost two years ago, I left her everything. A house with 30k equity, a vacation house with 20K equity that was leased out for a year, a paid for vehicle, full medical coverage, car insurance, and I even paid the family cell phone bill. On top of all that I gave her a sum each month that covered 90% of the mortgage payment. She has Uncle Sugar dumping a big chunk of change in her checking account each month, so she should have been set up pretty well, and able to take care of my teenage son without a problem.

Me? I walked with nothing but a few hundred dollars and some personal items. Not a stick of furniture, and not a single asset. I was certain of two things about myself; I needed to leave in order to live, and that I could make it even starting with nothing.

I asked only one thing of her, and it's all I have asked since I left.

Just leave me alone. I could not handle 'crazy' anymore.... just leave me alone.

Nope..... she could not seem to grant me just the one wish. One thing after another, right up to harassing my friends too. Forty calls to my cell each month, and eighty text messages on top of that. A blog site with personal remarks about me and using a site name that mimicked mine. Showing up at my work and assaulting me. Trying to force her way into my home. Twice she ended up in a police car for her actions. Just... never.... stopping.

Finally, the last straw snapped as she went after my friends. I told her "I will not pay you to harass me" and the money stopped. I had a short list of demands.... shut down her blog, stay away from mine, and leave me and my friends alone. That was it.

And.... she did that, for months, right up till she took my vehicle from my driveway one dark night (her name was on the registration and she had a copy of the keys). The next day she filed for a support hearing to force payment, as she correctly assumed I would cut off the easy money.

I ran through all that... to say this: I had done the calculations on spousal support long, long ago and I had been paying much more than required all along. I knew that, and I told her that. Maybe she forgot, and her lawyer was too stupid to do the math correctly. Today in the hearing, when the court clerk ran the numbers through the calculation program.... the magic number came back almost $200 a month LESS than I had been paying before she decided to screw me over. This after her screeching b@#$% of an attorney had tried several nasty tricks to make my income seem bigger than it is.... and STBE swiped my only ride to work right out from under me.

Her lawyer actually had the solid brass balls to ask if I would pay more than the determined amount.

I happened to glance at STBE's face as the numbers were laid on the table. I try very, very hard not to harbour any ill feelings. Life is too short for that. Still.... right at that moment.... just at that very second.... I wished I had my finger on the shutter release of a camera, and it pointed at her face.

So help me, I feel guilty for that thought, and for the smile that's still on my face.


Rev. Paul said...

Don't feel guilty. You didn't engineer the comeuppance.

There are spiritual laws (like "don't try to get even" and "pray for those who despitefully use you"). Then there are natural laws.

STBE ran afoul of the natural consequences of her actions. Not your problem. John Lennon had it right when he wrote, "Instant karma's gonna get you".

Smile away.

Mongo said...

Paul, my lawyer took me into private conference to go over the numbers and ask if I wished to accept them as they stood. I said "Not yes, but HELL yes!".

I explained... When I buy something and someone gives me too much change, I give it back. That's only right and honest. On the other hand, when I go in a store to buy something, and find it marked for less than I expected, I sure as blazes don't ask them to raise the price any.

I made my lawyer laugh. Bet he charges me for that.

Rev. Paul said...

Probably, but I suspect it's worth it.

Btw, I keep picturing Alex Karras cold-cocking that horse ... :D

Mongo said...


'Mongo' was my stage name once upon a different lifetime. I belonged to a group that put on western shows. Gunfights, train robberies, explosions, fight scenes.... It was a grand time. We did it to raise money for children's charities, but honestly we were just big kids playing cowboy.

In many of the fight scenes, the script called for my fellow bad guys to throw their opponent against me, only to have them bounce off and fly six or eight feet back into the fight. It was do-able, with some training and me standing like a big 'ol boulder.

Good times they was, good times!

Crucis said...

Mongo, just joined. I never had to have experiences like yours. All I can say is that people usually get what they deserver---one way or another. The best part is that they do it to themselves.

AmericanMercenary said...

Guilt is a burden you put on yourself. Drop it.