Thursday, July 23, 2009

Looking for the silver lining.....

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Amongst the really special things that have happened in my life this past month or so, there is a situation that stands heads above all.

This past Sunday, a very good friend passed away. Her and her husband have been friends for years, and she treated me like one of her sons. I didn't have a voice in the matter, as I suppose sons do not have. These people helped me out in my life, when even I didn't know what help I needed.

Now... with her passing.... it seems I have inherited the care of her 76 year old husband. Not really his personal care (he does that for himself), but much of his life, finances, and their business. I've spent the best part of a week trying to get a grasp on their obligations and how they are handled. He really doesn't know much about it as she dealt with everything. What happened to her, happened quickly, and there just wasn't time to get things set up properly. Six months turned into six short and very bad weeks.

Add in their business, a retail store, which had been mostly closed for the month and a half of her illness. Again, she ran the business and 80% of it's operations were her hands on venue. This business is pretty much his sole source of income, and I am sweating bullets figuring out how to get it going again. My own career gives me time off during the summer months, and my own income is covered so I don't need to be paid for my labors. That allows me time to be at the store and keep it open, and I'm not alone in that. A good friend who also loved the woman as I did is helping out. Even the mean old fart himself is getting in and picking up some of the load.

Just to make it interesting, as if it wasn't already, my late friends family is entirely at odds with the old guy, and for good reasons. He really is a mean old fart, and utterly filled with fear, hatred, and grief. His own kids don't want anything to do with him either. Through all this I have to set my own feelings aside and remain neutral. It's the only way I can get anything done in this situation. Neither side is blameless, but I simply can't allow myself to get sucked into those black depths.

Sounds like enough for one month, doesn't it? Nope.... it goes on. In my own life, a relationship with someone I cared about more anyone in my life.... ended harshly and suddenly. That alone was a crippling blow..... but if I acknowledge it and live out the pain, I wouldn't be able to deal with putting the old guys life into order.

I know... one big sob story, rivaling any soap opera that ever existed. If I hear just one more time "You are doing a good thing. Hang in there." I'm going to start twitching.

Gotta say..... right now, a cabin way back in the mountains is looking pretty good. One with neither road, phone, calendar, or clock.

4 comments:

lucy said...

I have just the place for you...a lake with good fishing, it is quiet and peaceful, pretty darn private, no phone, no calendar and we can unplug the clocks if you want. It is yours if you want.

Mongo said...

Lucy, Please send me an E-mail. The address is in my profile, and I think you have my other one.

I'm interested :-)

crankylitprof said...

E-mail me the name of the store. The kids and I are making an expedition out your way in the next week or so...

Mongo said...

done